In my practice although there are similarities in how I work with clients it’s never the same. Similar to your performance life although other people are doing your same type of performance they probably learned, interpreted the basics, train and perform differently. Most of it is based on similar pieces of information but it  has been tailored by each individual for them.

I think that everyone needs a mental plan whether it’s for performance, work or personal life. So many people walk around unaware of what’s happening. Even though they are unsatisfied they don’t think about making a change. They don’t understand that a small change could make a huge difference. This leads to unhappiness. It doesn’t have to be this way. Books may or may not be attractive in educating and addressing these basic issues. Figuring out how to disseminate this kind of information beyond talks and individual sessions is a challenge but I am committed.

Once you have a basis for a mental plan, books can be a great source of information but initially that information can be hard to apply.

Happy week!

Dr. Michelle

What a highlight it is for me to talk about how an injury is more than physical and that coping with it, is very mental & emotional. People don’t really know this stuff. Sure people understand that pain involves shedding a tear and an occasional four letter word but there is a much larger connection between an injury and what goes on mentally & emotionally. There are issues around motivation, self-esteem, confidence and many other potential psychological barriers to dealing with an injury.

Someone in the group asked how people can be more psychologically proactive. She said she was physically ready to return to rowing but not mentally. This is so common. I told her, yeah, this is a challenge but that if she gets injured again (not hoping that happens) what’s important ,now, is knowing that there are psychological things that she will need to deal with in order to fully heal. In her current situation she’s physically healed but has some lingering psychological barriers to still deal with.

Last night was such a great reminder for me that somehow people need to get this information before they get injured, play their sport or as they are becoming a concert musician. I am committed to doing my part in the education process so that people can be more proactive versus reactive.

Thanks to Tammara & Alexis at SOLPT! Love SOLPT and the work they are doing and am appreciative for the opportunity to work with them.

Happy Thursday!

Dr. Michelle

Photo credit: alevelpsychology.co.uk

Imagine being an elite athlete and dealing with the pressures that already exist in the elites athlete world: pressure to stay at a high level, stress from long hours of training, lack of life balance, traveling, obtaining/keeping sponsorship’s  politics, injuries, financial stress, etc. Now add PTSD to that: fear of getting re-injured, fear of falling, fear of getting hit by a car, fear of burnout, etc. YIKES! These athletes are at a level of anxiety, fear, isolation and loneliness that makes life and sport all that more complicated.

In my opinion, this is one of the hardest areas to help clients work through; which for me is why I love helping athletes move beyond it. Although it feels insurmountable, its not and I love helping clients come to that realization.

PTSD pushes me to get really creative in how I work with clients. I’ve been working on developing a new technique for dealing with PTSD. I am not going to share it just yet because its still in its infancy but you’ll be one of the first to know about it when I am ready to release information.

If you are dealing with PTSD I am so sorry because its a terrible situation. Just know that you don’t have to live with that kind of fear and isolation.

Happy Tuesday!

Dr. Michelle

Photo credit: Gajah

Dr. Michelle

How do you define values?

Have you ever thought about what your values are?

Are you living in alignment or opposition with your values? 

The concept of values is interesting. Generally when I ask clients what their values are they mention kindness, generosity and honesty but are these truly your values? Are there others and are you living in alignment with them? I’ll bet you’ve never really thought about it.

Here is how I define values: values are our core essence from which we think, feel, act and respond. Our values are who we are in our life; personally and professionally. It’s how we move through life.

A client who has been struggling to  exercise and eating healthy came in this morning. Part way into our session I asked him to tell me his values. He listed kindness, generosity, honesty, trustworthy and a couple of others but he never mentioned living a healthy lifestyle/being healthily. As we talked more, he realized that he thought a healthy lifestyle was a goal; something to be attained and once you get, you are done. I suggested to him that there is a huge difference between a goal and your values, gave him the above definition and the light bulb went off. I asked him if being healthy was a value? He said yes, most definitely but that he wasn’t living this value. I said, you just realized that it is a value and now you have to figure how to live it.

There was a lot more to the conversation but the bottom line is that our values are important to us and most of us want to live in accordance with them (once we know what they are). Awareness of values can help bring a depth of clarity and it can also show you where there are disconnects between your values and how you are living your life. Once you realize the disconnect you can change it or keep doing what you are doing. Most will choose the former. The latter means its not really something you value otherwise you’d be moving toward it versus in opposition to it.

Happy end of the week!

Dr. Michelle

Photo credit: http://commons.wikimedia.org

Funny story. I had brought my Mac-book  was using keynote and the keynote clicker on the iPad. I had practiced using everything together and it seemed to work fine. During my presentation though there were many moments when it did not work. I made some jokes about being a cool Cali girl with all of my Mac equipment and technology and with a little helped maneuvered my way through it no problem. Later my new friend Linda LeClaire said, ‘you were modeling positivity and focus in moving through a difficult situation’ which was part of my talk. Linda was right and for me those reactions to these kind of situations have become more ingrained that the anxiety, negative and pressured filled moments. I didn’t grow up with this ability (at all; not even close).  I had to learn how to live my life this way. The lesson is that you too can learn how to react and respond to situations in the way you want. This doesn’t mean that I am not challenged because I am but it does mean that I am in control even in those moments when things feel out of control.

It was a tennis weekend. I made some great connections at PTR. At the same time one of my professional players is on her way to Europe to play tennis and while stuck trying to figure out some travel snafus in LA I met a guy who sponsors a 16 year old up and coming pro. He said she was having trouble closing out. I told him I can help. He is going to give my card to her manager.

PTR chose to videotape my session which they are going to use on their site for educational purposes. Once I get the info I will pass it along. Good information for tennis and life.

Happy Tuesday!

Dr. Michelle

Photo credit:

Part of my support for girls in sports comes from being in the board of The Playing for Power Project. There are board members are all across the USA. We hold teleconferencing board meetings once a quarter. Part of our goal is to provide opportunities for girls to be involved in sports camps by providing scholarships. I’ve worked with SCORES in San Francisco this year to provide summer soccer scholarships to girls who wouldn’t ordinarily be able to afford to go to camp. It’s been an amazing experience!!

The Mary Jennings scholarship was set up for Mary Jennings.Mary was a student-athlete from Piscataway, NJ who attended Seton Hall University in South Orange, NJ. Seton Hall awarded Mary both academic and athletic scholarships following her career at Piscataway Township High School as an outstanding student-athlete in soccer, track and basketball. In 2006 at the age of 21 Mary was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer and passed away that same year.

The Playing for Power Project is still looking for funding to send girls to camp this summer. If you are interested in applying for a scholarship or donating please visit The Playing for Power Project website.

Yesterday I was involved in a similarly incredible experience. I helped sponsor a golf fundraiser for The First Tee of Oakland. The First Tee of Oakland is a life skills program which builds the character of youth to help them succeed in life (through golf). Another amazing organization doing amazing things. The organization ‘gets’ how importance sports are in the lives  of kids; now and in the Future. Many of the kids involved have gone on to not only be great golfers but good peeps. There are First Tee organizations across the country.

Through sports these programs help develop the self-esteem and confidence necessary for kids to be healthy and successful adults.

Happy start of the week!

Dr. Michelle

Photo credit: PamelaVWhite

At this talk I invited a woman who wants to do some volunteer work with me in my practice. She is completing her MFT and wrote her thesis on a sports performance topic. She is interested in working with athletes as part of her business. Since this was our first exposure to each other I suggested we grab a coffee afterwards and chat.

I started the conversation by asking her what she thought about my talk; good or bad. She said she thought it was great. She went on to say that my style is engaging and humorous and that I made the information relatable to them.

She said she had conversations with other people working in sports psychology besides me. One woman seemed uptight and rigid and asked what she would get from the experience. She said after that conversation she knew I was the one she wanted to work with.

Here was my response. Thank you. I just want to be me. Of course there are certain areas of my work where parts of me are less acceptable but I am still me; no matter where I go or what I do.  Why would I want to be something I am not? That would make me rigid and uptight. I’d have to figure out who this new persona is gonna be, use it in my practice and the go back to being me in my personal life or worse have this new rigid persona take over my personal life. Yikes!!

Some people are going to like me and some aren’t but that remains whether or not I am me or another version of myself. I can’t please everyone so I may as well be authentic. I find that a lot of people like my authentic self: funny, honest, and engaging with a small hint of intellect and philosophy. People sometimes ask me how come I don’t use big words or research in my talks. Even though everything I talk about is either research or experiential based people don’t generally care about big words or research

As I make my way to Hilton Head next week to speak at the Professional Tennis Registry International Symposium my focus is on being authentic. I could get caught up in whose going to be there (like Patrick McEnroe), the cameras (because they’ve decided to videotape my session) and the information I am going to present but that’s not helpful. That only increase my anxiety and sets me up to be a mess. Instead I am choosing to be excited and confident in my ability to share what I know.

Happy Saturday!

Dr. Michelle

Photo credit: blog-blond.blogspot.com

This dove ad: Dove Real Beauty Sketches really hit home the fact that women do not have a realistic view of who they are. My practice is made up of 80% women and part of my job with each and every one of them is to open the door to their inner and outer beauty.

I’ve been talking a lot lately about acceptance. Ladies my wish for you is that you develop the ability to accept yourself for who you really are. You are no better or worse than anyone else. You will never be perfect (no one will) but you are great just the way you are. You were born with the face and body you have. Others enjoy, appreciate and love it and so can you.

At the end of the day what’s all the nonacceptance and negativity about? Learn to love and accept yourself! You are the only YOU you have!

Happy Thursday!

Dr. Michelle

Photo credit: dandy_fsj

Living in the outcome of winning, wanting and perfection leave you void of confidence and success. You do not have control over those things. You pressure yourself to do this or get that but those things are not within your reach. One of my clients had a goal of losing 15 pounds but didn’t really have a plan for losing those 15 pounds. Everyday he got up, he hadn’t lost the 15 pounds, he felt guilty and most days reverted back to his poor diet and beating himself up. I suggested to him that losing 15 pounds sounded like a long term goal, an outcome goal that he had no plan for obtaining (he was setting him up for failure, guilt and beating himself up) and that is was his perfectionism in disguise. He realized it was true. We talked about small, realistic goals to help get him to his long goal and about how he could set himself up for success by meeting those short term goals. He has control of the realistic, short term goals and the process of getting there.

You have control of the process of your life. You don’t have control of the outcome. The process is your life, your lifestyle. The outcome is the end of life. Don’t wait until the end of your life to realize that perfection is a fallacy and something never to be obtained. Figure out how you want to live your life because you also don’t lose 15 pounds and then go back to eating and living the way you were. You want to work through the process of how to lose those 15 pounds and use that information to continue living a healthy lifestyle; for the rest of your life.

Happy Thursday!

Dr. Michelle

Photo credit: sara_kate