Mental Moment-black or white

 In Coaches, Focus & Awareness, Professional & Olympic Athletes

So many of the clients I see live in either black or white; all or nothing. Much of the conversation goes like this: well, if I can’t win (the audition, award, game, etc.) then I might as well give up or not be involved. As a society have we really evolved to this place of either 0% or 100%? Is that all there is?

Here are some problems with this:

  1. Only a couple of people ‘win’.
  2. People in this space live in the outcome. In the outcome they have little control. If they focused on the process where they have total control that gets them closer to their outcome.
  3. In this space there is no room for mistakes. We learn from mistakes and mistakes give up feedback for improvement.
  4. Some people don’t act if they feel they aren’t going to get the outcome they desire.
  5. Living in this space sets you up for failure, 100% of the time.

One of my tennis clients gives up when he thinks he’s going to lose. What is he missing out on? One of my weight loss clients has several of the skills he needs to lose weight but until he can follow a plan 100% of the time he won’t do it? What then is the outcome?

What’s been helpful with my clients? I help them see the gray. I help them see different perspectives. I talk about what’s realistic. I talk about process versus outcome. I help them set goals so that they make progress which allows them to feel successful making them want to continue moving forward. We talked about defining winning in a different way.

I get it! We all want to win! We all want to be at the top of our game! We all want to go from 0-100%! But that is not how it happens in any aspect of life no matter how good at whatever it is you are. Even the things you are good at took time, patience, peaks, valleys, plateau’s and gray areas.

Happy Tuesday!

Dr. Michelle

Photo credit: enasco.com

Dr. Michelle Cleere
In her own private practice as an elite performance expert, Dr. Michelle Cleere helps top athletes, musicians, and executives in competitive fields unlock the power of the mind and create the mental toughness to be the best. Dr. Michelle’s extensive academic background, which includes a PhD in Clinical Psychology and a Masters in Sports Psychology, allows her to help clients deal with performance anxiety, gain more confidence, and build resilience. In addition to personal coaching, Dr. Michelle takes on many roles – a best-selling author, athlete, and teacher. Dr. Michelle’s bestseller line, Beating the Demons, helps clients develop practical skills to gain more control over competitive environments and mitigate the interruption in play to overcome intense odds and defeat adversity. As a 15-year USAT Coach, she developed simple and effective tools to mentally train her athletes, and they are used by coaches around the world. She is a professor at John F. Kennedy University where she teacher her students to use the mind as an ally to improve performance.
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