Why is it so hard to just have fun?

 In Coaches, Control, Focus & Awareness, Healthy Lifestyles, Professional & Olympic Athletes

A few days ago I came up with a ‘saying’: in life it seems difficult to have (real) fun and almost fun to live a difficult life and it was suggested that I write a blog about this topic (back up my ‘saying’ with some irrefutable information).

In life it seems difficult to have (real) fun

It’s hard to have FUN when daily we are bombarded with a plethora of negativity. On the news. In magazines. What you didn’t do ‘right’ at work. What you could have done better at home. You beat yourself up for taking 3rd place in a 10K you could have won. The doctors office calls to say you’ve developed high blood pressure and diabetes. You beat yourself up for being overweight and not exercising. People are losing their jobs. The economy is in bad shape. It’s everywhere! The list is endless! OMG! What do you do with all of that on a daily basis?

You take it in and one of two things happen:

  1. It either stresses you out, frustrates you, gets you angry and you eat or drink to forgot it or
  2. you’ve grown so accustomed to it that it’s become a normal way of life.
Either way, not good! I think the former is partially why we have a large population of obese people.
Lets take all of the negativity and combine that with people who don’t know how to deal with their emotions. Not surprising that people are emotionally eating. The latter of the two things that happens it scary! We lose our ability to think or feel anything and ‘it’s almost fun to live a difficult life’ because it seems like all of this is out of your control and you don’t really have any choice.

Being mindful

For sure what’s in your control is the stuff you think and say to yourself! Some of the other stuff is also in your control: what magazines you buy, whether or not you watch the news and what movies you go to.

Although you might not realize it, all of this negativity is effecting you. It effects your personal life and your performance life. You eat too much. You drink too much. Your stressed out most of the time. You can’t sleep at night.

How do you help change this state of being? One way is to be mindful of what is going on. What are you thinking? What are you feeling? How are you being effected? Once you have a sense of what’s going on it’s important to realize that you do have thoughts and feeling but that your thoughts and feelings are temporary and they don’t have to consume you.

Once you realize that thoughts and feelings exist, meaning you are going to have them, you can start to shift how you view them.

Being positive

Life does not have to be the collection of all your negative experiences. Most of my clients are negatively oriented until I get them to be mindful enough to see the other side. For example, one of my clients who was running marathons had stopped running for awhile. Life got in the way. One day he came in for our appointment and said to me ‘I only ran 5 miles and it was really slow and…’ I stopped him and reworded what he had some in this way ‘I ran 5 miles; what an accomplishment after having not been able to run for awhile’. He looked at me with dismay and asked me why he can’t see it that way. Societal demands and all the negativity that surrounds us has impaired our ability to see the positive but this is in your control. You can turn the negative into positive and you can have FUN!

Exercise

I’ve done with exercise with many clients and it’s really helped them to start thinking differently. When  you wake up in the morning as soon as you put your feet on the ground notice your thoughts. [This is where information about your ‘state’ starts your day off positively or negatively. So many of my clients have found that they absolutely ruin their day in those first few minutes of waking up.] If you are thinking something negative turn that into something positive or come up with a positive, motivating phrase to help kick off your day.

The morning sets the stage for your entire day. If you wake and start off positively then your day will continue progressing in that direction.

Happy Weekend!

Let me know how I can help!

Dr. Michelle

Photo credit: By Bhumi Finding Herself

 

Dr. Michelle Cleere
In her own private practice as an elite performance expert, Dr. Michelle Cleere helps top athletes, musicians, and executives in competitive fields unlock the power of the mind and create the mental toughness to be the best. Dr. Michelle’s extensive academic background, which includes a PhD in Clinical Psychology and a Masters in Sports Psychology, allows her to help clients deal with performance anxiety, gain more confidence, and build resilience. In addition to personal coaching, Dr. Michelle takes on many roles – a best-selling author, athlete, and teacher. Dr. Michelle’s bestseller line, Beating the Demons, helps clients develop practical skills to gain more control over competitive environments and mitigate the interruption in play to overcome intense odds and defeat adversity. As a 15-year USAT Coach, she developed simple and effective tools to mentally train her athletes, and they are used by coaches around the world. She is a professor at John F. Kennedy University where she teacher her students to use the mind as an ally to improve performance.
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