Mental Moment-Grief in Performance

Grief comes in many forms. Usually what most people think of as grief is in dealing with sickness or death however in life and in performance there are many other forms of grieving but the way you deal with it is similar.

In performance situations, performers grieve in situations that include the following: accidents, injury, loss of money, loss of status, ‘losing’ a race, game, audition or event, not playing, being cut and transitioning out of their sport. I find in my work with clients that grief in some situations is easier to deal with than others but it doesn’t mean that you don’t have to grieve. For example, performers get used to ‘losing’ (it doesn’t mean they like it) which makes it more familiar and routine but injury is not which may make it much harder to deal with. Grieving in the former situation generally happens much more quickly than the latter.

The following is the Kubler Ross steps for grieving:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Whether someone is dying or transitioning out of their sport these are the steps a person should go through to deal with the situation. Again the amount of time it takes depends in the ‘severity’ of the situation and the person.

What happens if you don’t move through these steps? You get stuck in denial or anger or bargaining, don’t move past the stage you get stuck in and are not able to let go of the situation. For example, when one of my musicians loses an audition he stays stuck in bargaining and depression and is unable to get to acceptance. The implications of this are that every time he goes to another audition he’s unable to go through the audition with a clear slate.

These situations don’t magically disappear into the universe. They stay with us until we deal with them.

Happy week!

Dr. Michelle

Photo credit: houseforkim.com