Mental Moment-Where Do I Find the Answers
There are so many things to know about life. As an elite performer not only do you need to know and perfect your performance but you have to know and perfect everything else: family, friends, animals, health, nutrition, fun, education, business and finances.
Knowing what you don’t know
How can you? You can’t have an expert from every area of your life on your team. Many times you learn by watching others and through trial and error. That is not usually a comfortable space to be in but if its what you’ve got, then you have to make the most of it. Do the research, ask questions, brainstorm with friends and make calculated choices.
Modeling
There are areas of your life where modeling is helpful. For example, you aren’t sure what kind of tennis player you want to be. You can watch other players and see what attributes you’d like to ensue. What resonates with you? Another example is learning how to be a parent. You might have grown up in an environment that you don’t want duplicated with your kids. By watching how other parents parent you can see what you like and don’t like and use that with your children. Much of this information is tied to successful outcomes. For example, being positive and lacking emotions on the court has led this player to winning 4 grand slams. Or, my friends have done such a good job raising their kids. They are friendly and respectful
Trial & error
There are many situations where you won’t have a role model and even after you do the research, ask questions, brainstorm with friends and make calculated choices some things will not turn out the way you want. Its important to pay attention to this information. Learn from those mistakes and remember to do it differently the next time.
Moving through life
Besides Learning through role models and trial and error. Here are some things to help you in the day to day.
- Control the controllables-you do not have control over other people (what they say or do). You do have none, some or all control over what you do. Figure what if any control you have. If you don’t have any, let it go. If you have some or all control figure out what that is and how you want to move forward.
- Be in the present-each moment leads you somewhere. Each moment leads to the outcome you want. Be in those moments and develop them to take you to where you want to go. If you don’t stay focused on the moments you are likely to miss an important piece necessary to get you the outcome you desire.
- Stay as positive as you can-positive thinking leads to positive things. You can get wrapped up in the what if and should have but it’s only going to drag you down. Feel your feelings but don’t live in them. Don’t let the negative feelings envelope you. It doesn’t give you the ability to neutrally/positively think and act in accordance with forward progress.
Happy start of your week.
Dr. Michelle
Photo credit: LollyKnit
