Diary of a Cyclist-I Changed Coaches

G: Hey Michelle. Well I changed coaches. Do I think this one is better? Not on a personal level. I will seriously miss the friendship and conversation. He is very strict and polish. However I do feel good about making a hard decision, I suppose it will take a BIT of time til I see if this was smart or not. Either way it is done and it was hard and I miss my friend -coach..D.

M: It sounds to me like changing coaches was the BEST decision for you although ultimately only you know. It did sound like D. was being a bit unprofessional and threatening about you trying to do what’s best for you and it is really too bad you can’t still be friends but it was her choice.

On top of all that and how difficult it was on many levels for you to make this decision YOU DID make this decision and I think whether or not your new coach is the right one for you now you are at least now FREE to make these kinds of choices and decisions for yourself. Kudo’s to you for that. That seems HUGE for you in your life right now.

Thanks for the update and congrats on a BIG step forward!

G: Hey Michelle, how are you? Yes..I do kind of feel FREE. IT is strange. I miss the positive feedback from D. as a coach but I don’t miss the defensiveness and gossip that went on. It was negative too I guess in a round a bout way.

My new coach is not “sensitive” by any means! Very old school but gets results. I suppose I am not stuck with him if it does not work out, but I like the business like idea of the coach athlete. For me.
You are right, making the decision was the big part. If anything, I think I just felt proud to do something SO SO HARD..and following my deep gut feeling about it all.

So now, I am training and feel kind of okay, a bit lost to not talk about the training as much as I used to, but to be honest it frees up a lot of time for me to work on the business I am starting. (holistic nutritionist). So that is motivating and different.

What is my goal now? To try and stay ultra motivated on training for the next 4 months. I want to make sure that each session I give it 100% and the biggest thing, I feel if I could learn to believe in myself more over the winter and believe that my athletic dreams are not silly or “dreams!” that would be good! Also I think I want to also learn to realize that, if I don’t get as good as I want the world won’t end. But I wonder if that attitude is my excuse to not succeed?

I struggle with the idea of being a full time racer. My husband supports me totally, but I feel selfish at times and wonder, what am I bringing to the world by doing this? I think it is holding me back a bit. I feel embarassed to say I could be full time, what if part time racers are better than me? That is embarassing. Wondering how to let that go? Or if it is a sign that this is not for me maybe?
So confused!!!!! Will talk to my husband about the investment on one on one counselling. I am not working and trying to rehab a hamstring right now.

Thanks so much, I am glad you feel I did the right thing, you have an outside view and it is good to see you see it how I feel it.

Have a great weekend!

Dr. Michelle

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