Mental Moment-Do You Know Why You Do What You Do
Do you remember when you first started running? Why did you start and what did it feel like for you? I was taking Southwest to Austin last month reading through Spirit Magazine and there was a good article called: Fun in Motion. In the article if you scroll down you’ll see the piece of the article I am going to talk about. It’s called: The Long and Winded Road.
Motivation for what you do
Why people start to run varies from person to person. In The Long and Winded Road John Bingham talks about his motivations: being overweight, smoking, drinking, insecurities and failures. In my work I would say that people are well aware of the fact that they should start running or exercising to if they want to lose weight, quit smoking and slow down on their drinking but here in lies the problem for most of these people: they don’t realize that underneath all of that is the insecurities and failures. For most, it’s not until they are able to work through the insecurities and failures that they are able to fully embrace running/exercise to lose weight, quit smoking and slow down on drinking. It’s no wonder so many people are struggling to adhere to healthier endeavors. For John and a few others it does work to ‘just do it’ but for a larger majority it doesn’t. For many people there are years of failed attempts. Those attempts are what lead people to quit trying.
Those first days
John talks about those first days of running and how difficult they were: shock, amusement and embarrassment. Being realistic about what he could do helped keep him motivated to get out there and run and keep running. He had fond memories of biking as a kid so he started with short bike rides and eased his way into running. Although he didn’t specifically state it, what also helped to keep him going was his ability to realize that he was working through all the insecurities and failures in his life.
The first days of anything can be hard but as I’ve written in other blogs working through that can take you to a new place. To get there you need the ability to see what’s underneath the surface: insecurities, failures, anxiety, sadness, grief, or lack of confidence and work on those areas.
The pursuit of more
I’ve worked with a lot of women ages 35-65 who take up running and triathlon to get their lives back. Most of them have raised kids and taken care of their husbands for many years and are left with ‘what now’ when their kids leave home and they’ve left their careers behind. None of them regret their lives but most of them realize that they have had to sacrifice to have certain things. Most of what they’ve sacrificed is their individual identities, self-esteem and confidence. At or around 35-65 they want that back. Some of this is unconscious, at least until they’ve joined a group and fully realize the impact is has on their lives.
I have coached 100’s of these women. My job had less to do with training them to swim, ride a bike or run but more to do with supporting, cheering for, motivating and helping them find themselves again.
26.2 miles of anything
Training for a marathon can be analogous to many things in your musical, other sports, artistry, business or academic worlds. It’s about the journey; not the finished product. It’s about learning to accept that there is more than what meets the eye; what got you to an unhealthy weight and what blocks you from getting to a healthy weight versus just the fact that you are overweight. There are life lessons; we have to be willing to accept them or we stay stagnant.
When John finished his first marathon he couldn’t believe he was out there. A medical worker ran up to me and said, “Are you all right?” Puzzled, I told her I was fine and asked why. “Because you’re crying.” It was me. When I crossed that finish line, something within me snapped, unleashing a torrent of once-buried emotions. All of the failures in my life—failure to quit smoking, failure in marriages, failure to lose weight—were rectified by succeeding in finishing the marathon. The little boy that was always picked last, the kid that had a bull’s-eye on his head in dodgeball, the awkward teenager, had finished a marathon. I had the medal around my neck to prove it.
The satisfaction I felt that day has informed every single other thing in my life. Now, at the age of 63, I’ve completed 45 marathons and countless half marathons. Despite having dyslexia, I’ve written several books, all of them about running. And I finally gave up smoking and drinking.
Happy Tuesday!
Dr. Michelle
Photo credit: zazzle.com
