Mental Moment-They Think You’ve Made It

How do you measure ‘making it’? I’ve written several articles on success and how it should not (necessarily) be contingent on the outcome rather on other success indicators; things that happen in the journey that help get you to your outcome.Today I want to talk about success from a different perspective: how others see you versus how you see yourself.

Others

It’s great when other people in your life see you as being successful or is it? What price comes with that acknowledgement? I suppose its a good thing for others to see your success when you can’t. Other people are usually more capable of seeing the small, successful steps you’ve taken. On the other hand it’s hard to trust these opinions particularly when it’s all you hear about. How do others measure your success?  What do they see? Is success all they see? Is that all they want to talk about?

Self

One of my musicians said, when you don’t see what they see all you can think is, are they just saying that to be kind?  She continued by saying that as an elite performer she’s had moments of success but also many moments that haven’t been as successful and she has to accept both. It’s reality and all part of the package.

It was ironic that during our conversation we talked about how as a performer she see’s the missed steps and less than successful side (the negative) of her performances but the fact that she doesn’t share those with many people leaves people only seeing the successes. She lives and deals with both while others see mainly/only the positives.

The difference between them

For my musician the pressure she feels from others to see her journey as completely successful is a lot of pressure. It’s a lot of pressure to try and  be successful in the minds of others and also deal with her own less than successful emotions: fear, inadequacy, anxiety and self worth; which in her journey travel alongside the opposite feelings that she has within her successes. My client is very aware of the emotions involved in her journey and those that get in the way of her being successful and we work on dealing with them: pressure, fear, self doubt and anxiety.

My client says she’s thankful for all the love & support of those around her and although she does sometimes need a kick in the a%# when’s she entrenched in her drive to be better all the emotions and things that happen are part of her reality; the good and the bad. As an elite performer generally the high’s are high and low’s are low but my client is trying to find balance in how others see her and how she see’s herself. She is also trying to be more open and honest about it all and ask for what she needs.

How does your reality fit into how others see you?

Dr. Michelle

Photo credit: pretty-academia.blogspot.com