Mental Moment-Mental Training for Your Child
I’ve been getting a lot of phone calls from parents who are looking for support for their kids. There are things that parents should look for and things as a practitioner that I need to do to care for these relationships.
What to look for
In situations when you are not sure whether or not your child needs support, please call me about your concerns. I am available to assist with these decisions. Here are some guidelines that may help you.
- You might notice emotional or behavioral indicators that would suggest that your young performer is under stress.
- If you notice a change in their thought or behavior.
- If your performer is getting injured frequently.
- If your performer is reluctant to discuss a problem with you for some reason and you believe they need more support than you have been able to provide.
When to make the call
If any of the above is occurring this is a great time for a phone consult. A telephone consultation is a great start and not just with me but potentially with other practitioners like me. A phone conversation can give you a great sense of how a practitioner works, how empathetic they are and who they are as a person. Last week I told a parent that if a practitioner is not willing to talk to you over the phone that is a good indication of how they are as a practitioner. When you make phone contact with a practitioner it’s a good idea to think about what you want to ask them. What’s important for you to know. I suggest writing down some questions.
I offer free 30 minute consults. I generally need to schedule these and don’t have the flexibility to be spontaneous but I ensure these consults happen a day or two after you make contact with me. Because I understand what a huge decision it is to pay for and trust another person with your child I offer free 30 minute consults for both parents and the child athlete. This gives everyone the opportunity to judge whether or not they think I am the right fit. I would also suggest that you and your family talk to 1-3 practitioners. You will get a feel of which one is the right fit.
Talking to your child
Meeting with a practitioner is a huge decision for everyone involved and even if both parents decide it’s a good idea it’s of the utmost importance that you talk to your child. I understand that sometimes situations arise in family environments where the parents need to take control. However, in situations with performers I find that most children recognize that they need some support and are willing to get it. These conversations are important for you to have with your child. If your performer is absolutely not ready to get additional support forcing them to work on the mental side is not going to be a positive experience and in fact could harm where they are currently at.
Giving information
After we’ve talked and as you are having the conversation with your child even before you’ve hired me, I will send out detailed information about how the process works and approximately how long each ‘phase’ takes. Here is an example email:
I just want to give you a sense of the process. Although I work pretty quickly, the process does take a little bit of time and with kids a little longer. The first 1-2 sessions are spent getting to know a lot about your son/daughter and his /her history so that I have the information I need to really be able to help him/her move forward. After that we really start to dig into the challenges and come up with ways to cope with them. For example, in terms of his/her anxiety we’d talk about when it started, when it shows up, what it looks and feels like, how it affects him/her, etc. and then develop an initial plan for dealing with it. This consists of us developing awareness of those finite moments when anxiety creeps in and come up with technique(s)/skills for your son/daughter to try during practice and in other areas of his/her life. We refine how he/she uses those techniques and/or come up with something different if what we are doing doesn’t work. My job is not to ‘fix him/her’ but to set him/her up with a plan that will support continued success.
When athletes do weekly sessions most definitely start seeing and thinking differently within 2-4 months. The next two month (ish) we work on developing an initial plan. The third two month phase is where we work on developing a more fully sustained change plan. During this time some athletes come weekly and some come once every two weeks.
Generally most athletes have dramatic increase in awareness and a solid plan within 6-8 months. After that most athletes move into the tune-up phase where we refine, tune-up and deal with any new challenges. I work with clients in a way that provides them with as much independence as quickly as possible.
Happy Weekend!
Dr. Michelle
