Diary of a Cyclist
I worked with a female cyclist for awhile. Over the next couple of months on Saturday I am going to share some of her story and development with you. She will talk about aggression, control, focus, competing, etc.
If any of this resonates with you and you need some support, please let me know.
Train hard, do I race as hard as I train?? Is it in my head?
G: Hi there, I am an elite bike racer. I am in my third year of bike racing and I want to make it to the Olympics or worlds. I believe that I can, but I feel that I will not unless I get this mental aspect under control. Sometimes I feel like I am on top of the world, and other times when I am really suffering hard and I get dropped from the main pack I wonder…do I suffer enough? I know I suffer well, I have improved a lot in 3 years compared to most people I race with, BUT, to me, that does not matter, I want to improve more. When I look at my training I suffer HARD, so hard I can barely breath and am spitting everywhere….you know….but when I race I know I also suffer hard but sometimes I wonder if I don’t race harder because DEEP DOWN I don’t believe I belong there. Is it my legs or my head? At the time I am thinking I am going as hard as I can, but I wonder after if I did? This may sound silly but it is big. I need to believe in myself more if I want to get where I want to go. How do I learn to do this? I think I need more aggression. Some races I am attacking all the time and so into it and others I am just thinking ” I hope I can hang in here.” I want to think, I can win. I have thought that, but lack the focus maybe? Not sure. Any ideas? I really want to be one of the best racers on the circuit and I KNOW I need to work on my head.
Dr. Michelle: my first question would be this…what IS going through your mind when you feel that physically you are giving it all you have but get dropped?
Think about it during your next practice ride. Check in with your thoughts.
I absolutely do have one thought…be kind to yourself! You can still be aggressive in a pack without being AGGRESSIVE if you know what I mean. True competitive aggressiveness really comes across calm on the inside and outside and keeps you relaxed. The other aggressive makes your muscles tense so you can’t respond, drives your heart rate up, etc.
What is going through my mind
G: Hi Michelle, thanks for the words. I will think about this. I think I am thinking, *$&%!!!!!! why can’t I keep up any more! You know. I want so badly to be there. Sometimes I am, but when I can’t, I just am suffering so hard and man….I just can’t.
I am not outwardly aggressive unless I am in a crit (short fast aggressive races) but hear what you are saying. I think I may think too much and was reading on the site about focus ON THE MOMENT not on other things like a rider I know is strong moving up the pack during a HELLISH climb and thinking man I have to be able to stay here.
Sometimes I wonder if I think I am better than I am. My coach thinks that I have it, she sees me train SO hard and thinks the race situation is affecting my mind. She believes that I can stay with people that I sometimes don’t. I know that I am not “there” yet. But have moments of glory so to speak. I can deal with that. I know the journey is long and persistance is key. I just want to get on top of the MIND games since I think they are slowing me down. I need to believe and don’t know that DEEP down I do.
I will notice my thoughts next ride/race.
Thanks.
Dr. Michelle: it sounds like your training is going well as your coach has affirmed. Unfortunately your physical training can take you only so far; as you are learning.
Again it sounds to me like you are really hard on yourself. I think the best thing you can do it ease up on yourself just a little, relax and try turning all that aggression into positivity.
And I think you hit a nail on the head with being in the moment versus thinking about the what if’s or what might. Think about what is in YOUR control.
Why do you cycle? It sounds like you have an extrinsic orientation. Do you know what I mean by that?
Happy cycling!
Dr. Michelle (for a free initial consultation email me drmichelle@drmichellecleere.com)
Photo credit: AndyCunningham
