Letting It (All) Go
I frequently have conversations with clients around ‘control’. Why? Because as humans we tend to get so caught up in what if and negative thinking and it consumes us. And when these thoughts consume us we can’t get done what we need to and we can’t focus on the task at hand.
Conversation with an a client
When a client is thinking about what if (I lose the next game) and dealing with negative thoughts (I don’t deserve to win) those can be detrimental on many levels and there are a few ways to deal with both of these however I’ve been finding that clients really like the ability to question whether or not they are in control of the situation they are thinking about.
One client’s outcome
But I have felt really strong, relieved, and FREED by the concept of “It’s out of my control. Let it go.” It’s a breath of fresh air and I feel so much more in control, as I know that I have control over myself and I am so much better and happier and freer and feel wonderful when I let go of other peoples’ actions and focus on what I can control – me. I also realized how much my internal dialogue was not productive and decided to cut it when it’s not and also replace it with affirmations or what I’d rather be thinking or simply “it’s not in my control. Let it go.”
Other outcomes
This gauge allows clients to take control of the what if and negative thinking and release it if they are not in control. It also builds confidence and self esteem and free’s an athlete to focus and use their mind and energy in places they need it.
The other important thing with this gauge is that they can use it immediately and feel the benefits immediately; as is the case with the above scenario. In one week my client used the control gauge and immediately began feeling free, in control, happier, etc.
Simplicity
There is a simplicity to this that most clients will go with…if it’s not in my control then why am I hanging onto it? I need to let it go! Other clients (but only a few in my experience) will continue to ruminate and there are alternatives for dealing with that.
When you find your something thinking about what if (how do you know the outcome; when has the worst case scenario ever happened) or thinking negatively I recommend that you try using the ‘am I in control gauge’. I guarantee that most of what you ruminate on is not in your control however there are situations where you are in control or have partial control and in those situations figure out what you can/should do and do it. This gauge will also force you to take action.
Please send me your thoughts about how it is going!
Happy Wednesday!
Dr. Michelle
Photo credit: etsy.com
