Mental Moment-Process

Last week I talked about acceptance and intuition. Two important concepts in the process of change. Today I want to talk a little bit about what I think is the third important concept of change: process or lifestyle.

Living in the outcome of winning, wanting and perfection leave you void of confidence and success. You do not have control over those things. You pressure yourself to do this or get that but those things are not within your reach. One of my clients had a goal of losing 15 pounds but didn’t really have a plan for losing those 15 pounds. Everyday he got up, he hadn’t lost the 15 pounds, he felt guilty and most days reverted back to his poor diet and beating himself up. I suggested to him that losing 15 pounds sounded like a long term goal, an outcome goal that he had no plan for obtaining (he was setting him up for failure, guilt and beating himself up) and that is was his perfectionism in disguise. He realized it was true. We talked about small, realistic goals to help get him to his long goal and about how he could set himself up for success by meeting those short term goals. He has control of the realistic, short term goals and the process of getting there.

You have control of the process of your life. You don’t have control of the outcome. The process is your life, your lifestyle. The outcome is the end of life. Don’t wait until the end of your life to realize that perfection is a fallacy and something never to be obtained. Figure out how you want to live your life because you also don’t lose 15 pounds and then go back to eating and living the way you were. You want to work through the process of how to lose those 15 pounds and use that information to continue living a healthy lifestyle; for the rest of your life.

Happy Thursday!

Dr. Michelle

Photo credit: sara_kate