Winning or Losing
For most athletes there is only winning and losing. It is very black and white and there really is nothing in between those two things. Given this, athletes don’t have many moments of feeling truly successful and end up spending a lot of their time feeling the angst and pressure of not winning.
Define winning and losing
Dictionary.com has defined winning in the follow ways:
- The act of a person or thing that wins.
And has defined losing in the following ways:
- To suffer defeat or fail to win, as in a contest, race, orgame: We played well, but we lost.
There are other elements to both of these definitions but for the purpose of this blog I wanted to siphon out these two because they are pretty esoteric. ‘The act of a person that wins’. What does that mean to you? Winning the game, race, competition or gold? ‘To suffer defeat’. What does that mean to you? Not winning the game, race, competition or gold? I dare say there is plenty of opportunity to win aside from this.
A new definition of winning
As an athlete, ask yourself this question: do you get up everyday and do the best you can in your physical training? Do you trust your coach(es)? If this answers are yes then there is not much more you can do except continue to trust your training and stay in the process of training (be present and mindful of the training process without focusing too much on the outcome).
If the answer to those two questions are yes the next level may be learn to be present of the process. This is another area of training that is difficult for athletes but important. You have control over the process and if your process is done correctly then the outcome will be closer to what you want. Focusing on the outcome leaves a large margin of error because it draws your energy from from being present in the process and makes it difficult to develop, grow and deepen your skills.
As you become more present in the process not only does the corresponding outcome transpire but you start to accept that winning is more than just winning the game, race, competition or gold. It’s development. A learning process. Growth. It is information to improve for the next time. Winning becomes more grand and can be attached to ‘feeling successful’ in what you have accomplished.
Yesterday a client was talking about a section of Apolo Ohno’s book (which I have yet to read) where he had come to a level of acceptance with his performance when it was ‘less than’ a medal. In Vancouver Ohno got knocked out but because he knew he did the very best he could he had “Zero Regrets: Be Greater Than Yesterday.”
The pressure to ‘win’
As an athlete there is always going to be pressure but it’s how you deal with that pressure that’s important. I’ve already mentioned a couple of ways to help deal with that pressure: trust your training, trust your coach and stay present in the process of your training. I also alluded to redefining winning. If you haven’t defined ‘winning’ for yourself it’s really important to do that so that you understand what your motivation and expectations are. In redefining winning it’s important to have realistic goals that you’ve been practicing and know that you can reach during competition. How are you going to feel successful?
If you are able to looking at ‘winning’ through a slightly different lens it also helps alleviate some of the anxiety, fear, self doubt and pressure that comes along with having an outcome goal that is all or nothing. All or nothing also feeds negatively into your self confidence; the more you don’t ‘win’ the lower your confidence goes.
There are very few at the top and I am not suggesting that you shouldn’t reach for the top but what else is there between winning and losing where you can still ‘feel’ successful but that is not ‘winning’ the game, race, competition or gold?
Happy Weekend!
Dr. Michelle
Photo credit: rishabhsaxena86.blogspot.com
