Happiness is always an interesting concept. Human beings tend to think they either feel happy or unhappy but many times don’t see the in between. Unfortunately, many are hardwired to look for unhappiness and due to so many circumstances, it bubbles up quite frequently. Unhappiness can become the way you look at and deal with life situations and its partly genetics, but also partly the way we understand happiness.

Like many coping skills and mental skills, understanding it in our lives is an important skill to develop. It really comes down to how we consciously deal with our lives. Unconsciously, when our untrained brain takes over, things happen to us. When we consciously learn how to deal with the concepts of our brain, we are then in the driver’s seat. Happiness is one of those concepts.

Genetics

Our brains are built to deal with scary and frightening situations. It’s genetic. We are in a constant state of fight or flight – is this a threat that I can ‘fight’ or one that I must ‘flee’. If you think about the brain from this standpoint alone, it’s easy to see that we start out at a deficit and from a place of fear filled with negativity, lack of confidence, and stress. For most of us, this is our baseline. Yuck! Right? What can you do about this? Develop the tools to deal with your environments in better, more happy and positive ways!

Just because happiness contains genetics doesn’t mean you can’t have an impact on it (or confidence, motivation, negativity, stress, anxiety, etc.). We are all on a continuum of happiness. Some of us are born happier than others. What’s important is that you realize what your baseline is and then work to develop the level of happiness you want in your life.

The principles of happiness

The dictionary defines happiness as good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy (https://www.dictionary.com/). Those are awesome states to be in and when you are, you feel good, but you can’t be happy 24/7.

However, you can keep the following happy principles in mind and see if they help you make better sense of happiness.

Principle #1 – the problem with happiness is, it challenges the brain’s genetic fight or flight foundation making it hard to see or feel happiness when it’s right in front of you.
The answer: you must look for happy moments, take it in and celebrate them – big and small!

Principle #2 – as humans we think happiness is a continuous state. It is not. Unfortunately, and fortunately, we cannot have good fortune, pleasure, contentment and joy 24/7. Happiness, like every other feeling we experience, comes and goes. It’s momentary. It’s a learning experience.
The answer:  you must appreciate it and have gratitude for it and the cause of it when it’s there!

Principle #3 – people often think, if I am not happy, something is wrong with me. I must not be a happy person. I think we squashed this in principle #1 and #2 but there’s nothing wrong with you.
The answer:  you must develop your ability to be present in situations so you can fully embrace them.

Rethinking happiness

Some people are born happier than others but that doesn’t mean we can’t all feel happier. It is not a thing that merely exists. It’s a state that we must nurture and develop. When you can understand and develop the skill of happiness, you have more and more pleasant moments in your life. Happier moments lead to better well-being and a longer life.

They also lead to changes in your view of the world and your part in it. I know that may sound a little out there, a little esoteric but it’s true. There has been a lot of research done on happiness and its impact on success (as a performer and in business and life). “Happiness leads to success. Happy people seek out and undertake new goals that reinforce their happiness and other positive emotions” (https://psychcentral.com/blog/does-success-lead-to-happiness).

Be Happy

Helping clients to understand concepts like happiness is just one part of my role as an Elite Performance Expert. Once clients have an understanding, we develop ways to cultivate and develop happiness in their in everyday life situations but particularly in moments when it seems as though everything is making them unhappy.

I always say that in every situation there is positive and negative but, in every situation, there are also happy and unhappy moments. They tend to go together, so it is up to you to be in the driver seat, and aim high in the direction of happiness.