I Can’t Do It
You know what happens when you say I can’t do it? You don’t.
I am a firm believer that we can do almost anything. Sure, we may not be ‘great’ at everything but you can probably do it. So, when I hear clients say they can’t do it, I question what that means? Rarely is that a true statement. My hunch is that because you’ve been practicing it’s not true that all of a sudden you can’t do it. What is it then?
Where does “can’t” come from?
Fear of losing, making a mistake, not having control, and not being perfect? The pressure to perform becomes so scary and you feel like your brain and body are working against you. You feel butterflies and they trigger your brain to say I can’t do it. What am I doing? I am not prepared for this. These thoughts feed the butterflies and now your heart rate increases. The nerves turn to anxiety. Your brain and body want to shut down. But wait. I actually was prepared for this. What happened?
Can’t vs can
Without realizing it, you took a normal response to performing and competing – nerves – fed them and turned them into anxiety. You went from actually being prepared to feeling totally unprepared. In a matter of moments, you turned your I can to I can’t. You took an innocuous response to pressure and turned it into the end of the world.
#1: Change the can’t to a can.
You are where you should be
We are rarely put in a place to perform beyond our capabilities. Sure, sometimes we have unrealistic goals, set ourselves up for failure, and put ourselves in compromising positions. But in all of my years of doing this, I’ve never seen a tennis player in the quarterfinals who didn’t deserve to be there. I’ve never seen a trumpet player at the finals of auditioning for a principal role who hadn’t worked hard for it. I’ve never seen an Olympic swimmer who didn’t deserve to be at the Olympics.
#2: Accept your place and then, it’ll make sense that you are where you should be.
Being realistic about where you are
Even when you deserve to be there, in all of the above examples, there are different levels. In the quarterfinals, there probably is one player who’s slightly better than the other. In the auditioning finals for a principle position, there will be slightly different abilities. As an Olympic swimmer, it’s also likely that there will be swimmers better and worse. You have worked hard and deserve to be there, but be realistic about where you’re at.
#3: Have the proper perspective and make a huge impact on your fear.
Your power
I can’t do it takes away your power to perform. You trash all the hard work and time you spent practicing. This negative perspective doesn’t allow your muscle memory to show up and do its thing. You just covered up the I can you instilled in yourself during those long, hard practices. You did it yesterday, what changed today? One small word – can to can’t. Your physical ability is still intact but for self-preservation (fear), your brain has taken over.
