You’ve heard me talk (on and on) about negative self-talk and why it’s harmful. Along with negative self-talk comes negative body language which is also harmful to performance and to you.

In math, you learned that a negative + a negative = a negative. This concept holds true in other matters outside of math. For example, negative self-talk + negative body language = negative outcome. No? Yes no! If you keep adding negatives to the equation, it doesn’t get any more positive. In fact, you pile on the reasons why you should not do well.

And to add to that, let’s talk about a third component to negative outcome, which is how you talk to others about how you perform.

3 factors to be aware of…

1. Self-talk: What are you thinking – negative, positive, or neutral?
2. Body language: How do you look – negative, positive, or neutral?
3. Talk with others: What are you saying – negative, positive, or neutral?

It’s a chain reaction

Negative self-talk stems from doubt, fear, and failure. Our brain thinks that if we think about it, we can solve the doubt, fear, or failure issue. The problem is that one negative thought leads to another and once you are in that cycle, it can be darn hard to get out of.

When you are in the cycle of thinking and feeding the negative self-talk, not only are you no longer in your performance but other negative things are happening because of this cycle. Two of the most common are that your heart rate goes up and your muscles lose range of motion. More negative outcomes! All of this then shows up in negative body language. How can it not!

For example, a tennis player hits a ball long. She starts beating herself up for missing such an easy shot (negative self-talk). Because she is in her head thinking, her feet won’t move for her to be able to hit the return of serve. She can’t believe how badly she’s playing. She is so frustrated she starts slapping her thigh and makes another unforced error on an easy volley to lose another point.

The cycle continues

You probably don’t often think about how you talk to other people about your ability. It just comes out of your mouth. In turn, then you wouldn’t think that how you talk about your ability might get in the way of being effective, but it does. It impacts how motivated you are to practice and definitely how much confidence you bring into competition.

The third destructive factor of this cycle is how you talk to coaches, friends, and parents about your ability (an outward form of negative self-talk). This too impacts your ability to perform well and affects how you feel about your ability and tears down your confidence. For example, before a tournament, a fencer was telling those around her that they shouldn’t expect her to do well because she would have debilitating nerves beforehand. What do you think happened? It was a negative outcome!

For example, a musician was using language like supposed to, should, and have to, which was leading to her inability to play her best and put on the performance she had practiced.

Say YES to you

You can experience success! Be aware of your negative self-talk as it pertains to what you say to yourself and others. Learn to reframe your usual negative self-talk into something that’s more neutral-positive. Remember that a negative plus a negative equal a negative. In this case it leads to a negative outcome.

Realize that you can be successful. Redefine success as goals that are specific, realistic and process oriented. Know that failure is part of succeeding and you will not be successful every time. Learn to be okay with it.

Doubt, fear, and failure are part of your journey and every else’s journey. Being a successful performer means realizing that all of this exists. That it exists is not the problem, how you choose to deal with it may be.

Positive self-talk + positive body language + positive talk with others = Success!