To Be Truly Successful, You Need Grit

The definition of grit is as follows – courage and resolve; strength of character. I am reading Angela Duckworth’s book, Grit. While I always understood this basic concept, Angela’s research in this area explains grit in much more depth.

Her research gives grit life by explaining the secret to success. There’s so much important information in Angela’s book. Far too much for this conversation, however let’s discuss it in relation to mental training.

State of sports today

Over the past ten years, youth sports has changed. We continue to see a rise of youth sports programs in the US. We have pay-to-play sports outside of the public-school system, and now in the schools. And, the status of sports is all encompassing. Many kids start playing sports around 4, 5, or 6 years of age and continue to try to play through college or as a professional (which is typically why they were put into the sport at such an early age).

As a result, the youth’s identity hinges on their sport and the message received from coaches and parents. Kids are influenced by the messages they get about being good, being intelligent, and being perfect versus what they did that was good, how they improved, a new skill they learned, and/or their passion and intent.

Some of the problems associated with it is that youth sports can take over the lives of youth. And this can result in it not being fun for them. Why? Stress. Pressure. These youth do not have the skills to deal with the pressures. Not to mention, youth are burnt out by the time they are in middle school and high school because they are playing one sport, year around.

How we currently think about success

Angela’s first statements in her TED Talk piqued my interest – “What struck me was that IQ was not the only difference between my best and my worst students. Some of my strongest performers did not have stratospheric IQ scores. Some of my smartest kids weren’t doing so well.”

Why? Because the smartest, most athletic kids attribute their smarts and athleticism to talent and aren’t always willing to persevere and be resilient. Their goal is making sure the outcome is perfect and they are unable to enjoy the process; to be in it.

This also means they are unable to deal with challenges and adversity. They may be OK dealing with challenges and adversity the first time but certainly struggle and want to give up if it lasts longer than that. So many times, I’ve heard from kids, I am OK with the first mistake but if I keep making the same mistake, I get frustrated and angry and can’t let go of it.

We’ve taught kids to be afraid of making mistakes. Kids who are afraid to fail, don’t succeed.

What is actually true about success

“Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals. Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day in, day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working really hard to make that future a reality. Grit is living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint.” Perfectly said. (Source: Grit by Dr. Angela Duckworth)

Grit shows up in different ways but has one theme – drive:

• Realize there are challenges and it makes you stronger.
• Push through challenges to get to your purpose.
• Define your life philosophy and working toward it
• Deliberate practice.
• Be open to change and growth.
• Celebrate effort and intent.
• Set goals and consistently strive toward them.
• Realize that talent is only a small part of the equation.
• Understand that what you do isn’t who you are.
• Know there is no such thing as perfection and know it sets you up for failure.

How do we evolve into this new place

“So far, the best idea I’ve heard about building grit in kids is something called “growth mindset.” This is an idea developed at Stanford University by Carol Dweck, and it is the belief that the ability to learn is not fixed, that it can change with your effort. Dr. Dweck has shown that when kids read and learn about the brain and how it changes and grows in response to challenge, they’re much more likely to persevere when they fail, because they don’t believe that failure is a permanent condition. We need to measure whether we’ve been successful, and we have to be willing to fail, to be wrong, to start over again with lessons learned.” (Source: Grit by Dr. Angela Duckworth)

She goes on to the consequences of a fixed mindset. When you have a fixed mindset about your ability, this leads to pessimistic thinking about adversity, giving up on challenges, and not attempting them at all.

On the other hand, she notes that a growth mindset leads to optimistic self-talk which leads to perseverance over adversity.

So to evolve, you need to think growth, you need to understand that you and your actions really can change. Mistakes are not permanent, evil beast. Mistakes are learning opportunities where you can grow and improve and advance.

Everyone plays a role in grit: parents, teachers, and coaches

Everyone has a responsibility in whether kids choose to take the path toward grit and a growth mindset. From a young age, kids will imitate what we do. They hear what we say and interpret what they see and internalize it. Does that mean you have to be a perfect parent, teacher, or coach? No. But you have to be aware and understand that there are better indirect and direct messages you can send.

Wise parenting, teaching, and coaching is supportive and demanding – being able to reflect on something a child failed is an opportunity. It is critical to show them that they are still loved after failing and they are celebrated for it.

I highly recommend the book Grit – The Power of Passion and Perseverance for all parents, teachers, and coaches. It’s a must read!

Thank you, Angela, for your expansive research in this area.

Grit Scale – if you want to know how gritty you are, take Angela’s grit scale.
Grit: The power of passion and perseverance (TED Talk)